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Tuesday, March 27, 2012

The Tender Mercies of the Lord!

Lately I have been struggling soo much to the point that I have just wanted to give up. I have been hurt by others. It has been so hard! I have been throwing everything I have learned on my mission on the back burner. I have been falling day by day to a place that no man wants to go! In a way I will call it the "Highway to Hell". I have been so miserable. There is a famous scripture that says, "...power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself." (2nd Nephi 2:27)

The adversary wants all of us to be miserable. He is so why not drag others down to hell! What we don't realize is how easy it is for him to get a hold of us. When we drop our shield(the protection given by God) we are all on our own. We are then in the hands of the devil.

How do we drop our shield? Let me tell you. We all know the very basics. Daily Prayer,  Scripture Study, going to ALL Church classes, etc.. These may seem so small but they make us so vulnerable to attack when we don't do them! Imagine being a sniper and when you took a shot at 1 mile. Now imagine you were one small degree off. Even though it is so small, the bullet is gonna be very off at 1 mile. So when we are off by just a bit it really makes us off by huge amounts in the end. Now imagine when you let your guard down to the bigger things in the world. Pornography, Word of Wisdom, Chastity, etc.. What is gonna happen when you are really off at this point. You are not going to be in a good situation. You not only let your shield down but you dropped it in the mud at this point. Now even though you have dropped it in the mud you can still pick it up and make it absolutely clean. That is the same for us. When we fall in the mud we get back up and after showering we are clean.

How do we pick our shield up? This principle is in the Gospel of Jesus Christ! It is known as repentance. When we repent of our sins Christ cleans the mud off of us personally. He comes to you after the proper steps and says, "Thou art made clean." How do we know this? Christ continually invites us to become better in our lives. For example, in John 3:5, "Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God." So in other words unless we come unto Christ and repent and wash off our sins we cannot enter into our Father's Kingdom! We cannot become clean without the Atonement of Christ! We need His help to become perfect! How great is this principle that if we repent we can become perfect!

So how do we keep our Shield up? I love how Christ says it in St. Matthew 11:28-30,
 "Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light."

So as I have been sitting here watching a movie tonight I had some impressions come to me. "I will not live an average everyday life. I will live a life full of trials, hardships and maybe at times complete abandonment from others. I will live a life of service. There will be decisions that are gonna be tough, but I need to rely on the Lord for guidance in these decisions." Tears have been brought to my eyes because I have been able to feel of God's Perfect Love! It has been a remarkable experience. I have not had experiences like this since my mission. But like everyone else I need to pick up my scriptures, get on my knees and gain my personal relationship back with my Heavenly Father! I need to get back on track so that God can use me where I am needed! I am as guilty as anyone with this, maybe even more guilty.

I am so grateful that even in these struggles and rebellion God has seen fit to give me guidance and direction. He has given me the opportunity once again to become better! He has let me feel His Spirit and let me tell you it is wonderful! I am so very thankful that I had a friend to talk to today that has helped me get through this! 

Since I have returned home off of my mission I have struggled and I believe the biggest reason why I have struggled is because, 1) I haven't opened my scriptures since then 2) I haven't gotten on my knees to talk to my Father in Heaven 3) I skip classes at Church and sometimes just skip Church completely;
This is a recipe for a DISASTER. This is why I have been so miserable I let Satan guide me through a miserable path.

One of the greatest things that have kept me going is communicating with missionaries from my mission, remembering my mission, and talking to those whom I have met on my mission. Seeing these young kids teach me in my hardship whom I taught. All of these have one thing in common. MY MISSION! My mission truly is everything to me! It is the best decision that I ever made in my life. Though it was extremely hard it was worth every second. I think about it and the people I met often! I just wish I was back there in Nashville.   I love my Heavenly Fathers plan even though it is so difficult, it is perfect! I am so thankful for each and every tender mercy the Lord gives unto me!

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Correction to Rumors About Me!

People are currently probably trying to figure out what went wrong with me. I have come home off a mission honorably for medical conditions. There are rumors floating about and being spread that i did not come home for that at all which to you I say, "Let me show you my honorable release certificate!" Why these rumors are being spread is clueless to me! I gave all I mean all! I turned away from the world beliefs!  I suffered and hurt for my Savior's sake and these missionaries spreading these rumors about me just upsets me soo much! Why would a servant of God spread something like this when he doesn't know the conditions at which I was released for? I thought he is to represent the Most High! Of course we all fall short but this is just negligence and stupidity.

For all out there I did serve honorably! Whether you believe me or not, I did! My priesthood leaders testify of that!

This has just been bothering me soo much! My soul has been shaken in pain! How exquisite you know not! My name has been slayin by some stupid kid! I do know that God lives! I know He is real! I know we all make mistakes and can be forgiven as we repent. So to those destroying my name! I will pray for you!